Chapter 1: A Long-expected Party in 1 Utama

(Director: Hokay, we shall now officially start the Bumi-Tengah parody. I decided to skip all that prophecy bullshit in the beginning of the film based on artistic integrity. In other words, I didn't know how to write the damn thing. So I decided to start with THIS instead....)


ONCE upon a time, in a parking lot under some shopping complex called 1-Utama, there lived a Bloggit.

Bloggits are little creatures who like to eat, party, and blog a lot. They live in parking lots under 1 Utama so they can take advantage of the new wing's free wireless internet access. Also for the chicks.

Bloggits can live all over the place, but due to their excessive blogging nature, they tend to hang out in a Pro-Jet petrol station near Jalan Petaling - called The PeePeeAss for short. That's where all their blogs come together. And also the best place to meet chicks.

Bloggits also sometimes have a tendency to take nude pictures of themselves and posting them on their blogs (which accounts for a lot of droolin.. er, i mean, outrage as well as occasional puking when the nude model turns out to be a chubby guy with a weird haircut).

The bloggit who lived under 1 Utama was called Kendo (not to be mistaken with a certain Japanese martial art). He is somewhat chubby, and has a weird haircut.

Kendo used to live in some funny place called Kuching, but got chucked into the parking lot under 1 Utama for the purpose of this story.

Anyway, Kendo's uncle BelacanBoh was having a party. Not just any party, mind you, but a party for his er... Eleventy-first post on his blog!!!! Woopie. Yay Yay. *Flags waving*

Every-one was gonna be there, coming from all over the place. They found out about the party through PeePeeAss, and so they all turned up - The Trolls, The Flamers, The FemesOnes and so on. All sorts of Bloggits were there.

However, Kendo was still waiting for someone to turn up, so he decided to go sit down upstairs in the Starbucks directly above his B4-G3-ND parking lot to blog there, while waiting for that someone...

By and by, just as Kendo was getting bored and thinking of putting another nude photo on his blog just to create more controversy, he heard the sound of someone singing....