BUMI TENGAH: The Malaysian LOTR Blog Parody

Welcome to Bumi Tengah, The Malaysian LOTR Parody blog!!

This blog is mainly gonna be a parody of LOTR using Malaysian bloggers as main characters. To be updated whenever I feel like it. :)

To read past chapters of the parody, go to the Contents page HERE)

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Chapter 1.1: A Shortcut to Burger King

... The singing it turned out to be the ringtone coming from Kendo's super-duper tiny and canggih handphone, which was playing the new Complicated Minishorts-Remix, and sounded like someone was strangling a kerbau.

Kendo answered the phone:

Kendo: HARO?
Gandaiz: OI! What you doing in Starbucks? The coffee there sucks wan lar! Come over to San Francisco Coffee, the coffee here nicer!
Kendo: how you know lar?
Gandaiz: Somebody's little bird told me.

So off Kendo went to SF Coffee, where he found a guy who look like a brinjal.

Gandaiz was dressed in a purple T-shirt that said 'Ping me, baby!', and a purple pointy hat that had a star on top like a Christmas tree. He held a tiny stick in his hand which he waved around occasionally when the flies flew around him.

Kendo: Eh, why you all purple oledi? I thought you used to be grey?
Gandaiz the Purple: Haiyar, last time I go and tell everybody not to bold their pings, but then hor, now all the ping all grey grey only. So I have to turn MYSELF purple so then only people can see my pings.

Anyway, once the two had bought their coffee, and blogged about how the coffee in SF Coffee was so much better than Starbucks....

(Director's Note: NO, SF Coffee is NOT paying me for the product placement. Though they bloody well should at least give me free drinks...)

And off they went in Gandaiz to Belacanboh party, which was going to be held at Burger King, because Belacanboh's house under the escalator near Giant was too small.

Halfway there, Kendo decided to go toilet, so Gandaiz decided to head for Belacanboh's house first.

Once there, he saw a sign that said:


(Chicks can come right in)

Since Belacanboh's house had no door (he lived under a flight of escalators after all), Gandaiz just walked right in and saw Belacanboh sitting on the floor playing Chor Dai Di with his kids.

Belacanboh was looking very young, healthy and very buaya-fying, even though he was already married with two kids. Must be all the sambal belacan.

When Belacanboh saw who it was, he immedietly invited Gandaiz to sit down for a game, and promptly lost all his money.

(Director: Apara, so malu. Lose to a terung.)

Anyway, when Belacanboh had lost all his money, Gandaiz decided that it was time to go, and stuffing the money into his hat, he led Belacanbo to Burger King (via the fire escape stairs, because the lifts took damn long to arrive).

When they finally got there (after getting lost in the car park because Gandaiz never go to 1 Utama new wing before), everyone was already there and fidgeting and complaining because the two bloody VIPs were late.



Blogger Belacan said...

buaya's and chicks only. bwahahahaha! woi! i got chor dai di poker face wan, how can lose to terung? hehehe

5:33 PM  

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