BUMI TENGAH: The Malaysian LOTR Blog Parody

Welcome to Bumi Tengah, The Malaysian LOTR Parody blog!!

This blog is mainly gonna be a parody of LOTR using Malaysian bloggers as main characters. To be updated whenever I feel like it. :)

To read past chapters of the parody, go to the Contents page HERE)

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Chapter 3.1: Gandaiz Tries to Escape from Telegard

So it was that Gandaiz was stuck in the water tangki of Menara Telegard.

"Woohoo! Now I'm stuck here, I have an excuse not to go to work saving those blasted bloggits. I can let that ranger guy do all the work! Whee!"

So, at the water tangki area he stayed, where he spent the first hour counting the cracks in the wall, the second hour immersing himself underwater to see how long he could hold his breath for, and the third hour looking down over the side of the tower, counting cars on the Federal Highway.

By the fourth hour, he was already so bored that he began to wonder if it wasn't such a bad idea to be out of this shithole and out chatting up bloggits instead.

So he began to hatch a few plans to escape.

His first plan for escape, which consisted of making a lot of noise by kicking the water tangki and shouting at the ant-like people at the ground for help, lasted all of five minutes and only resulted in him getting very thirsty and a sore foot to boot.

His second plan, which was to seduce Sharoruman when he came up for a chat, didn't quite work out very well, mostly because Gandaiz didn't have his razor around and couldn't shave his legs to make them more appealing.

The third plan, which involved blogging about his imprisonment and hoping someone would kick up a fuss and start an online "SAVE GANDAIZ FROM BAD EXAMPLES OF SOCIETY" campaign was scratched because Shaoruman had cut off Gandaiz's Streamyx account.

Gandaiz actually thought his FOURTH plan would work, particularly since it involved a little bit of magic, a moth and an eagle, but in the end, it didn't work because the moths he usually contacted had all died after accidently getting sprayed with Anti-Aedes fog.

So Gandaiz stayed on top of the water tangki for a little while longer, staring at the ground below, dreaming of having a proper Internet connection so he could start blogging again ("Blast. FOUR HOURS without pinging PPS. my hits sure go down wan").

Just then, he saw that Shaoruman was on ground level, talking to his kuli-kuli about something...

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2 Comments:

Blogger deborah said...

Haha, this is entertaining!

7:01 PM  
Blogger iwannaeatporkchoptonight said...

Applaud applaud! Malaysia boleh!

11:31 AM  

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