BUMI TENGAH: The Malaysian LOTR Blog Parody

Welcome to Bumi Tengah, The Malaysian LOTR Parody blog!!

This blog is mainly gonna be a parody of LOTR using Malaysian bloggers as main characters. To be updated whenever I feel like it. :)

To read past chapters of the parody, go to the Contents page HERE)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Chapter 5.2: Glordindel Faces the Ah-Benguls

...a mob of placard waving demonstraters rushing towards him! The placards said:

"Doctors say: No more cartoons!"
"Cartoons make people laugh! Gives people best medicine!"
"Cartoons are evil! Makes people laugh until stomach ache!"

Scared of the demonstrating doctors, Glordindel turned his kapcai the other way, taking the road down UIA. As he was going down that road, he glanced back to see nine black clad BMX riders chasing after him, chanting Amani by Beyond at the top of their lungs.

The Ah-Benguls were after him!

Now things were getting serious. Glordindel urged his kapcai to go faster (though with his er... substantial bulk, the kapcai was hard-pressed to go up the hill), and he raced round towards the SAMAD roudabout.

There, the Ah-Benguls nearly caught up with him, but he managed to shake them off temporarily by going round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round the roundabout until the Ah-Benguls got dizzy.

(Kendo got dizzy too, and puked in the front basket. Glordindel is an elf, so they don't get dizzy. Must be the hair).

Then, just as they were slowing down, Glordindel ZOOMED off towards his final destination... PhileoDell!

The Black BMX Riders cycled frantically behind them, chasing them closely. By and by, they reached the traffic light junction just outside PhileoDell, where Glordindel just managed to get past the traffic lights just in time! PHEW!

The Ah-Benguls were stuck, not daring to beat the red light (the bad memory of past life samans for running red lights still lingers in their minds).

Stopping at the side of the road, Glordindel got off the kapcai and faced the Ah-Benguls. Remembering his director's orders to stay closer to the book than the movie, he shook Kendo awake (who puked again), and tried to get him to shout his defiance at the Ah-Benguls.

Unfortunately, Kendo was too groggy and was puking so much that he could only say: "Gah! Uwek! BUEK! TULAN!" that Glordindel eventually gave up, decided to prop Kendo up on the handlebars of the Kapcai, and put his ventriloquist skills to good use by moving Kendo's lips with his hands while shouting from behind Kendo's back:

Kendo/Glordindel: HALT! YOU are making me damn tulan! first steal my pictures to get RM50, then now trying to steal my cincin. NO MORE! YOU SHALL NOT HAVE ME! OR THIS CINCIN!"

or something like that (it was hard to tell what Glordindel was shouting behind Kendo's back).

For good measure, Glordindel decided to peek out from behind Kendo and shout: "HAHA! SUCKERS!!!! YOU WANT HIM, BUT CANNOT GET!!!! NYIE NYIE!!!!" (and stuck his tongue out).

Enraged, the Black BMX Riders give a squeak, and urged their BMX bikes across the road, screaming in anger.

SUDDENLY, the traffic light on the other side turned green, unleashing a Minibus-turned-Bas Kilang which HURTLED down the road and squashed the Ah Bengul's BMXs!

(The bus then dragged the Ah-Benguls all the way up the road, back all the way to the Rothmans Roundabout, , where they were set upon by the demonstrating doctors and trampled on.)

Heaving a sigh of relief, Glordindel stuffed Kendo back into the front basket of the kapcai, and proceeded into the Elf stronghold of PhileoDell, with its lush waterfalls, four star Eastin Hotel, and a certain majestic structure called Menara Star..... *sic*

(Meanwhile, while all this is happening, Mackragorn and the other bloggits were casually strolling to their Bill8555 Proton Iswara, got in, drove a bit, stopped by for tea at Kanna Curry House, narrowly avoided a collision with a suicidal Bas Kilang, and arrived at PhileoDell only to see...)



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