BUMI TENGAH: The Malaysian LOTR Blog Parody

Welcome to Bumi Tengah, The Malaysian LOTR Parody blog!!

This blog is mainly gonna be a parody of LOTR using Malaysian bloggers as main characters. To be updated whenever I feel like it. :)

To read past chapters of the parody, go to the Contents page HERE)

Friday, September 23, 2005

Chapter 2.3: The Vitch-King of Klangmar!

So it was that after almost a month of procrastination (as well as a case of extreme parody-block that struck the director) that Kendo and Suamwise decided to set off for Amcorp Mall.

Just as Dindo and Suamwise were going to leave for the Amcorp Mall Bree-market, suddenly, Minirry and Peterpin came around and threw vegetables at them, pestering Kendo to let them come along.

Luckily, Kendo managed to find his own transport, a Proton Iswara called Bill8555 that should be able to fit all the bloggits into it, even and even have a place in the boot for Peterpin's super-canggih wheelchair.

However, just as they were going into the car park to get to Bill8555, they were ambushed by a scary looking person covered in black.

It was one of Eyeron's greatest minions, the dreaded Ah-Benguls, who were the NINE Jantan Tai-kors who kena tipu by the MIGHTY and INCDREDIBLY HANSEM Eyeron last time!

They are led by the owner of the worse ever Afro in the Blogosphere - The Vitch-King of Klangmar!

The one that ambushed them was wearing a black T-Shirt, with highlighted hair, and was riding a black BMX bicycle as fast as it could towards them.

At the sight of the Ah-Bengul, Kendo was suddenly overcome by an urge to take the Cincin Namber One out and throw it at the Ah-Bengul, but luckily, Suamwise hit him on the head with a cabbage that was aimed at the Ah-Bengul (Director: alright, NO MORE alcohol for Suamwise).

Kendo immedietely woke up and pressed Bill8555's alarm, and they managed to get away in the nick of time. (loading Peterpin's wheelchair took a bit of time, but luckily, at that crucial moment, the Ah-Bengul got distracted by a modified Kancil parked next to his BMX.)

With screeching tyres, Kendo FLEW out of the carpark, and headed to the LDP, only to see two more Ah-Benguls on BMXs chasing them. Luckily, the LDP was not that jam, so they managed to get away, and eventually, they got to Amcorp Mall.

Meanwhile, Gandaiz was on the way to see his tai-kor Shaoruman the Whiteguy at...


Sunday, September 04, 2005

Chapter 2.2: Gandaiz Looks Up Air-Suam's Skirt

Director: *Boots his Eyeron-self out of Director's chair*


*Grapples around with himself like Edward Norton in Fight Club*

Pant, pant.

Ok, now that we've got that snivelling Eye out of my chair, we can now get back to the parody.

And Action!


Suddenly, just as Gandaiz was telling Kendo all about the horrors of Pinky the poodle and her missing zebra-striped stocking-wearing minions, they heard a noise outside the window, and Gandaiz spotted someone dropping some eaves on them.

"Hey, I didn't know the underground car park in 1 Utama had windows," said Gandaiz.

"Oh, that window is actualy a glass panel under the escalator so Uncle Belacanboh can lie down and look up girls' skirts. Useful, eh?"

Gandaiz was speechless, because he was looking up a skirt at that very moment. Which turned out to be Suamwise 'Air-Suam' Gangrine's skirt.

"OI! OLD PERVERT!" she yelled, thwacking Gandaiz on his purple nose.

"HEY! I am supposed to be the one who whacks you, then grabs you and then throws you on the table and... oh. Never mind. Nice weather we're having eh?" said Gandaiz, blinking innocently. "Anyway, since you're here, I can send BOTH of you on the trip."

"WHEEE! ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!" Air-Suam yelped, dancing around like a lu-lu. "Wait. Where are we going?"

"I am not sure yet. I still need to go somewhere first, to go and consult my tai-kor - Shaoruman. He is the most powerful of my order, and we all respek him because he was the one who chased Pinky the Poodle back to Pets-R-Us."

"You all go jalan-jalan first, and then I meet you at Amcorp Mall Starbucks, ok?" said Gandaiz. "Keep the cincin safe. And whatever you do, STAY OFF THE FEDERAL HIGHWAY."

"Why?" asked Air-Suam.

"Now rush hour lar, damn jam there."