BUMI TENGAH: The Malaysian LOTR Blog Parody

Welcome to Bumi Tengah, The Malaysian LOTR Parody blog!!

This blog is mainly gonna be a parody of LOTR using Malaysian bloggers as main characters. To be updated whenever I feel like it. :)

To read past chapters of the parody, go to the Contents page HERE)

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Chapter 4.2: The Tale of the Ah-Benguls

So it was that Sekunder and the four bloggits decided to hide in Speedy Video and wait for the Ah-Benguls to search for them at the mamak on the lower ground floor of Amcorp Mall.

"Whew! Lucky I pull you up here just now. The Ah-Benguls were already here!" said Mackragorn.

"BLUFF! You pulled me up here because you thought I was a COOKIE!" said Kendo.

With that, Sekunder fell silent. And then after five minutes, he spoke up again...

"You know who those Ah-Benguls are? They were once Bloggers like us, very femes ones samor. They were Tikors of the Jantan-Jantan gang. But Eyeron gave all nine of them a Cincin each.

"So they became kuli to Eyeron because the Cincins they had had a spell that make them think Eyeron is Lilian Too, and that if they follow him, they will have good Feng Shui also."

Mackragorn paused sebentar, for dramatic effect, then continued:

"So now, they no longer have minds of their own. they don't blog on their own anymore. Now, they have all taken to blogging about football only, and even set up this stupid football blog called Hantu Bola so they can hantam David Beckham and Man Utd all day, and assimilate ALL football fan bloggers into Liverpool fans. Damn evil I tell you."

"They've also taken to dressing up in black, dying their hair like Ah-Bengs, listening to Beyond songs and riding around on BMX bikes."

"BMX BIKES?" Asked Kendo, surprised.

"They got no money to buy Kancils to modify mar."

The five of them waited, and they waited, and they waited, and by and by, they decided that it was safe to leave. So Mackragorn and the bloggits went down to the basment parking, where they jumped into Kendo's Bill8555 the Protony, and Mackragorn drove them out into the Federal Highway.

"Where are we going lar?" asked Suamwise. "And how do we know we can trust you?"

"You HAVE to trust me because Gandaiz sent me to protect you. And as for where we are going, I will tell you once we get there..."

so Suamwise shut up, sulked a bit, took a few pictures on her cameraphone, and Mackragorn drove on in silence, until they reached a lookout point called....


Monday, December 05, 2005

Chapter 4.1: Mat Sekunder and the Chipsmore Cookie

The Cincin Namber One FLEW up in the air! twirling a bit like ballet dancer, then landed NGAM NGAM on Kendo's BIG TOE.


All Kendo's clothes disappeared.



"EEYER! SO SMALL! But wah, are those coconuts??"

Flushed with shame, Kendo hurriedly took off the Cincin, and put it on again on his finger, hoping that it would make him dissappear.

POOF! He turned into a Chipsmore cookie, now you see it, now you don't!

(Well, to EVERYONE ELSE, Kendo was a cookie, even though he was actually still in human form. Only he knew that though. everyone else wanted to eat him.)

Just as a cockroach was about to scurry over and stomp its dirty legs all over the cookie, Kendo (the cookie) managed to take the Cincin off, and stomp on it. Then, suddenly, he felt a rough pair of hands LIFT him off the floor, and haul him upstairs to the Speedy Video shop on the Ground floor.

"EH? Ceh, I thought got cookie to eat."

Kendo opened his eyes to see a rather disappointed and scruffy looking Mat Rock (who also happens to be a Pegawai Lalulintas) staring at him longingly (and hungrily).


"Calm down, Young Bloggit. I know what hunts you. The Nine Ah Bengs Riders are out in full force, and they would have smelled the delicious scent of Chipsmore cookies and come after you as soon as you put on that Cincin just now."

Then, as soon as the Mat Rock had finished saying that, the other three Bloggits (ok, maybe just two, since Peterpin had to take the lift because his wheelchair couldn't go up the escalator), Suamwise wielding a beer bottle, and Minirry brandishing a chopstick. (Peterpin roleld in ten minutes later, vrooming his wheelchair's engine threateningly)

"OI! Unhand him, you foul Mat Rock!" yelled Suamwise. "Or else I'll hit you with this bottle of Hoegarden! After I've finished it first, of course."

"Calm down, my little Bloggits, I mean you no harm. Gandaiz sent me to protect you, for I am the champion of young bloggits all over the world."

"Oh yeah? What's your name then?" asked Kendo.

"My name? My fellow Mat Rocks call me Mat Sekunder, because I always come in second in all the illegal races, but my REAL name is...

Mackragorn, Son of Megatron, Heir of Unicron!!!!"

After a dramatic pause, standing up with legs akimbo and hands on hips, Mackragorn continued:

"I Am the Rightful KING of all BLOGGERS! Behold, my BLOG that was under investigation and almost broken! TO ME, BLOGGERS! TO ME!! I AM YOUR KING! DO SQUATS FOR ME!!!!

"Oops, did I say that out loud? Damn my sub-concious delusions of grandeur."